Honor Your Elders

I'm so sorry for the lack of posts lately. :( I've been back from Korea for awhile, but I still want to blog about so many things. School is sucking up my life, with college applications and whatnot, not to mention all my extracurriculars and just ugh. I just wanna be back in Korea~!

Today's blog post will be about the importance of age in Korean society. To Koreans, age is an extremely big deal. Even if it's just by a year or so, the age of the person with whom you are acting determines how you can speak to them, the level of formality you are expected to use (it can get pretty complicated), and even your gestures.

In my host family, I had a Korean grandmother, halmonni. The grandmother, and great grandparents in general, are given the highest form of respect. When eating, they are the first to be poured a drink, the first to be served, and the first to begin eating. You should also bring a gift, even just a small one, for your elderly family members (or if you will be visiting someone older that you don't know, such as a friend's parents/grandparents). I also noticed, when I gave my host family their gifts which included some fun little keychains, halmonni was asked to choose first. It's a sign of respect, since Korean women work very hard for their family and for this, are honored in their old age.

Also, when arriving/leaving, it's really important to greet or bid goodbye to people, especially family members that are older than you. When you leave, you should go to everyone in the house, even if they're in separate rooms or whatever, and tell them "tanyogesseumnida". When you come back, you should do the same and say "tanyowasseumnida". When someone else leaves, you should say "tanyo-oseyo", and when they come back you should say "tanyooshassayo". It sounds a little complex, but these were really emphasized in my host family! As I always say, no one's experience is exactly the same, but these rules seem pretty uniform, from what I've noticed. :)

When dining, it's customary that the youngest person (above the age of five or six) at the table pour drinks for the rest of the table. Since one of my host sisters is only one day older than I am (isn't that crazy? Same year and everything, she just happened to be born one day ahead!), she and I would often jokingly tease each other about who should pour drinks.

Age also applies to honorifics. Although their are honorifics for younger family and friends, you can get away without using them if you know them well. But for older family/friends, you should ALWAYS use the proper honorific, no matter how well you know. This, I found to be different from Japanese honorific system, where the more you get to know someone, the more casual you can afford to be with them. In Korea, honorifics are more defined.

Also, if you're on the bus/subway or in line somewhere, you should ALWAYS give up your place to someone elderly. Now, it doesn't necessarily have to be like, if you're a high school student you should give your seat up to a young college-age guy, but if you're young and healthy and sitting down while an elderly person struggles to keep their balance, you had better get up and offer them your seat right away. Even if they refuse, insist. It's respectful, and in a society where respect is so highly regarded, Koreans will be very impressed by you. It gives off a good image of foreigners in Korea.

Some pictures of my halmonni (grandmother) and onni (older sister). :)